Monday, October 31, 2005's Halloween!

Halloween by Helloween
Masquerade, masquerade
Grab your mask and don't be late
Get out get out well disguised
Heat and fever in the air tonight
I am not one of those that dresses up for Halloween. Just not my thing. Probably because I am not creative in that manner. I could never come up with a good costume so I never bothered. Plus it is easier nowadays with friends that don't bother to figure out weird costumes. I rather go with one of my standards. The Visible Man and The Bar Patron. Depending on the night, I may even go with Happy Drunk or Mad Drunk.
Meet the others at the store,
Knock on other people's door
Trick or treat they have the choice,
Little ghosts are makin' lotsa noise

I didn't hand out any candy to the trick or treaters yesterday either. I gave up on handing out candy to kids. I don’t get many coming to my house. There are a number of steps they need to climb to get to the front door. Most of them don’t even bother. Thus, I make sure I am off in a bar watching football. Then again, maybe they remember my house as being the one that handed out the really hot candy one year. These things were hotter than Atomic Fireballs. Is it possible I scared them away? Until I have kids, I don't see why I should give some other parent's brats candy. Besides, there aren't that many kids in my neighborhood that I see. I refuse to give candy to the kids whose parents pile them into a van and drive miles away from their own neighborhood just so they can get candy.
But watch out. . .beware
Listen. . .take care
In the streets on Halloween
There's something going on
No way to escape the power unknown
In the streets on Halloween
The spirits will arise
Make your choice, it's hell or paradise
Ah--it's Halloween Ah--it's Halloween. . .tonight!

I have already talked about all the reality shows on haunted places I have watched this season. Most were good. But I was a little disappointed I didn't see the Scariest Places on Earth that featured the Waverly Sanitarium. Best.Episode.Ever. Most Haunted had "live" events going. They weren't live in the U.S. but showed the replays. Some of it was good, but I could have done without the scrawl on the bottom of the screen with comments from viewers. Most of them seem batty. I was pissed that the DVR didn't record Friday's show at the Tower Bridge. I was at the Tower of London and would have loved to have seen what they were finding. I thought I had been in the place they were in last night, Clink's Prison. I thought that might be the London Dungeon, but it wasn't. If I somehow get back over there I would need to check it out. But in the meantime, if you get bored at work later, you can click on the link to check out the live webcams they will have set up. I checked some of them out last night and didn't see anything that looked out of the ordinary. Of course, some people were seeing all kinds of weird stuff. Maybe I should have drank more at the bar during the football games. Maybe the bar is haunted as it was practically a ghost town yesterday. There were 7 patrons in the bar to watch the Packers at kickoff. Not only is their season done, but the so called loyal fans have packed it in as well.
Someone's sitting in a field,
Never giving yield
Sitting there with gleaming eyes,
Waiting for big pumpkin to arise
Bad luck if you get a stone,
Like the good old Charlie Brown
You think Linus could be right
The kids will say it's just a stupid lie
I was a little pissed last Tuesday. Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang were on. I missed the Great Pumpkin. Bummer. I like watching these cartoons. They seem rather cheesy but remind me of what is was like as a kid. Now if only I can remember to catch the Christmas one.
Black is the night full of fright
You'll be missing the day
What will be here very soon
Changing your way
a knock at your door
Is it real or is it a dream
On trembling legs you open the door
And you scream. . . .on Halloween

Ever think of how easy it would be to scare the shit out of people. I have thought about this many a time. But if I ever did anything, I would probably end up in jail. They would probably call it stalking. Plus, I wouldn't want to give any ideas out to people I know. They would probably do one or two of them to me.
Hey, don't forget to add yourself to the map. How else am I going to know who to buy a drink in that part of the country?

Check out our Frappr!

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Jumpin on the bandwagon

I am seeing this pop up on other's blog and just want to be with the cool kids.

Show me where you are.

I am curious to see who reads this drivel and where you are from.

I tied one on good last night. Got in a dial-a-shot with Socoman, did some Jagerbombs and piled some wings into my piehole. I am a little slow this morning. Coffee isn't kicking in yet.

I noticed while playing with Frapper, that I have moved! Somehow it puts me like 3 miles from where I live. I go from being at the lake to what looks like a school building.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Insania 20:14

Drive me crazy
Oh yeah
That's all I hear you say

Take a look at this. What a way to start the weekend! Of course, I am sitting here thinking about happy hour already. I need it. I finished a month long project yesterday and drinking beer and playing poker just didn't get the job done last night.

I also need to unwind from yesterday. That topic will set me off. I feel I do need to echo Erik's words too. By no means am I saying you should not be allowed to exercise you freedom of speech. Just be considerate of when you are doing so, and think of the consequences of your actions. Unfortunately, these people just don't care about either.

I am curious how many of you actually clicked the first link above and keep thinking "badger badger badger badger". I hope I have planted that deep inside your skull today. Why? Why not?
The other day I had the oil light come on in the car. I had ignored it at first because I had sensor problems once before. I know that there is a good chance if I make a quit stop that the reading may be wrong. But after a week, I did the man thing, and checked the oil, adding some. No problems now. I put the bottle of oil in the garage on a shelf right by the driver's door. Over the last couple of day I have had the same thought again and again when I look at the bottle. Why do I have a bottle of Jagermeister in the garage? Damn, if only!

Insania 20:16

I heard a crazy story on the news last night. Well, maybe not necessarily crazy. More like stupid, moronic, idiotic. A 25-year old Milwaukee woman was impregnated by a 15-year old boy. She was arrested for having sex with a minor. They caught her because she went to court to try and get the boy to pay for the kid. Hmm...she would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling police.

The Red Wings won again last night. You cannot get many pucks past Manny Legace right now. He has won 10 games in goal in October alone! Amazing.

I wish I had interesting plans for the weekend. Truth is I don't. There is a party tomorrow for a friend and drinks with people I know from work tonight but nothing really set in stone. I should give my friend with the crazy wife a call and see about doing lunch. I probably should rake leaves. I should go up in the tenant's place and do some minor repairs. I should consider insulating some windows.

Lots of things I should do. Instead I may sit around playing poker and drinking beer. Great lifestyle, huh?

Wow, this is a pretty pathetic post. I should give it up now. I got no game today. Like the Astros in the World Series. Zing! I will probably post more meaningless stuff today. Kinda like live-blogging my work day. Why not? I have little to do today. I have a call with my boss in about an hour and a half. That is always interesting. Little seems to get done.

So until something good comes along I am out.

But one last thing.

badger badger badger badger badger

Updated 8:55. Talk about crazy. How about thinking a suicide is a Halloween display? Hmm...seeing how I am the resident expert on this subject, I do not recall any hangings to be part of a normal display. Who thinks that is normal? Caskets, hearses, tombstones. YES. Hanging bodies? NO.

Or these jerkweeds who give drinking a bad name. Let the record show that I hate it when people look for the easy way out to explain someone's insanity. It is not the alcohol. It is the crazy fook who picks up a knife when answering the door.

But enough of the killing. How about crazy porn stories? Wow, it is bad enough that the guy stole his idea and made millions on it, but to receive phone calls from him taunting and reminding him of his crime? That takes balls!

Updated 10:51. Now this is what should be happening during trick or treating. Nothing like scaring the kids. Of course I will be at a bar watching football.

Updated 11:08. I just saw the comment about on having me up for their "Blog of the Week". I am in the running again? I see my friend the Wig is there too. Must be the losers bracket of the big round robin. Last time I stumped for them. This time, they owe me a beer! Maybe I should go out for lunch.

Updated 12:17. Lunch wasn't rather interesting. Going down there was. I stopped by my friend's desk to pick her up and started talking with another lady I used to work with. As much as I wanted to comment on her "just got fucked" hairstyle, I couldn't. Well, at least not in those terms. Her hair was all over as if she just got ridden hard in the ladies room. Instead I said it looked like witche's hair. Yeah, that is much better! Then we walked by some dude with this humongus sweater on. Big turtle neck and all. He was slouching in his chair. The slouch made the sweater bunch up over his chest giving him the appearance of boobs. Then I saw maybe the best sweater kittens in the building at lunch. Yes, sweaters are God's gift to men in the winter. Not for us, though. Just for the ladies. The best part of fall.

Update 12:36. Here is proof of why I am disgusted with this lowlifes that were celebrating deaths of soldiers. Screw every one of their smiling faces for what they have done. One thing I find interesting in one banner is the statement of 100,000 Iraqis dead. Considering the scum that is involved, they blame American soldiers for that too? Not the terrorists who open fire on voters waiting in line. Not the terrorists that blow up police stations. Not the terrorists that car bomb Iraqi Army checkpoints. Not the terrorists that target children. They have the audacity to think the American soldier, not the evil terrorists or Saddam's henchmen, is to blame. The one man who is helping rebuild, train, and make it a safer place to be. The one man who sent an evil, murderous dictator scurrying into a spider hole to hide. Yeah, Iraq was practically Disney World before the war. You want to blame the brave men and women who are sacrificing so much for you to be able to have these demonstrations. I have no other way to say it. FUCK YOU! I feel a bit better but now am wound up again. Is it time for me to drink yet?

Oh, I see an idictment has been handed down. Some guy named Bill Clinton Scooter lied under oath, obstructed justice, and perjured himself. I hope he gets prosecuted to the fullest. You break the law, you go to jail. Don't care what political party you are with. You just embarassed our country. This goes for others that may be indicted as well. But I can't help but wonder as the Wig does. Did he get to have sex with an intern?

Update 2:39. Man, am I bored! Being the end of the month, my work is basically done. So I am killing time, surfing the net. I would just about kill for a beer. If only I could play poker or look at porn at work....

Update 3:19. I am out of here! There is a cooler of beer somewhere with my name on them!

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Yesterday I joked about Milwaukee's blight. Today I am not joking about my stomach turning.

Because some things that I have read over the last couple of days are not just disgraceful, but disgusting.

This is not about choosing a political party. This is not about being for or against the war in Iraq. This is about common decency. And the lack of it by some organizations in this country that will take advantage of fallen soldiers to further their cause.

You have heard by now that 2000 of our best have died defending our country in Iraq. But you may not be aware of some of the vigils and fund raising efforts that are being held to celebrate this supposed milestone. Yes, you read it right. I said these groups are celebrating. They are taking advantage of soldier's deaths to basically put more soldiers at risk under the guise of bringing them home. They are using this time to raise money for their causes. Causes that hate the United States and support the terrorists who will not let Iraqi citizens choose their fate. And don't be fooled. American soldiers are not fighting "insurgents". They are fighting terrorists from all over the region that hate America. Those terrorists do not give a rat's ass about the Iraqi people.

The coward Cindy Sheehan says she will chain herself to the White House gates all she wants. her crazy ass should be tossed in a mental ward. All the anti-war groups that claim they support the troops are only putting fuel on the fire, encouraging terrorists to fight back by having the media show clips of their demonstrations. Our enemy thrives on those clips.

But still, you gather to help the terrorists kill innocent Iraqi police, soldiers, and children. You care not of the Iraqi people who are the targets now. You just want to further your own agenda while you ignore the great progress that has been made to make Iraq a better place.

And you make me sick.

I will not list the groups. They will not get any mention from me. You can find them yourself if you choose. I hope you will not.

In the meantime, say a prayer for our troops and raise a glass to them. We should be proud of them. I know I am.

UPDATE: For some independent coverage of our troops efforts, check out Michael Yon's blog. Reports that the military or MSM won't tell you.

UPDATED ONE MORE TIME: And just what do you think Saddam was going to do with $1.8 billion? Give it to the people? Not quite. Shocking results too:

  • The French did not but turn their back at the bank. No wonder they didn't want to go into Iraq. It would cost them money.
  • The Russians profited nicely through their Moscow embassy. No wonder they didn't want to go into Iraq. It would cost them money.
  • Former Clinton friend and pardoned crook screwed the United States once again. Yeah, that Clinton was such a good President. No wonder Clinton didn't want to go into Iraq. It would cost them money.

What they don't mention is how much Kofi Annan and his cronies made off of the deal.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Milwaukee's blight

There is a disturbing trend I am noticing in Milwaukee right now. Something I had begun to notice over the last 2 weeks that bothered me. It really had me concerned. I couldn't drive to the bar without seeing something that make my stomach wretch, my eyes itch, my brain hurt. Yes, this was before getting to the bar so it was like I was drinking Mind Erasers or some other wicked shot.

No, this was on the streets of Milwaukee, the city I grew up in. The city I love. A place that has so much to offer that few know about or understand. Sure, Milwaukee ain't perfect, but it is only when the citizens get together and do something about the problems in their neighborhood that solutions are found and the blight eradicated.

It was after a discussion with my family and some friends at the bar this past Saturday that made me realize I had to do something about this particular issue. I may be just one man. One beer guzzling, football watching, poker playing person. But one drunk can make a difference, but only if they take action.

Yes, I am taking on a serious issue. One that could put my life in danger. Many won't like what they see here. Some may come after me. But I have faith in those that read my words that you may rise, come forth and stand by my side as we take on the monster that is......

Halloween Yard Displays!!!!!!

They are pissing me off in a major way. Look at this. You have a smiling witch, ghost, and vampire. WTF? Who ever saw a smiling vampire? Isn't Halloween suppose to be a scary time? A time for kids to go door to door, trick or treating and tell ghost stories? In this case, it looks like some batty lady is trying to peddle her arts and crap crafts to the parent that bring little Susie to the door. I bet she had 20 cats living in her house as well as having a bunch of stuffed animals arranged on her bed every day. This crap has got to go!

But as you can see, it doesn't get any better. This picture isn't as clear as I would like. I think those who oppose my movement caused the blurriness. But what is this suppose to be? There are 3 one-eyed smiling ghosts jumping out of pumpkin. One eyed ghosts? Sounds like I am being mooned by some albinos. This inflatable monstrosities need to be blown up. They are slowly populating front yards across the area. And once again, they are portraying the "happy, ghost are you friend" image. Screw that! Ghosts are scary. They are not your friends. It is not like they are going to buy you a beer.

One of the worst things about Milwaukee's Halloween blight, is that some of them do not make any sense. Or at least, not at first sight. Take this house for example. We have a picture of a happy ass Tigger on a porch by some skeletons and a tombstone. What in the blue blazes does Tigger have to do with Halloween? I was baffled at first. Tigger has nothing to do with Halloween. But then the tombstone stuck out at me. With some help of my software, I was able to notice the grave marker had the initials W.T.P on it. Suddenly it was clear. Tigger was dancing on the grave of Winnie the Pooh. This scene made sense now. Sick and sadistic. Guess it may not be that bad after all.

But this one is. Where do I begin. Can you make out what the sign says on the blowup scarecrow? It says "Happy Harvest". The fact that it is a blow up scarecrow is horrible, but "Happy Harvest". Why not Happy Halloween? This is where the PC people have stepped in. Can't wish everyone a happy Halloween because it is too scary and may frighten the kids. Notice the little "kids playing marker" on the stairs too. I am willing to be that not only in this person a over protective mother, but a teacher as well. I heard that the schools are not having a traditional dress up day where you come as a ghoul or goblin. Instead you are to dress up like hero (not super hero) or social worker. WTF? I guess that means you send little Johnny to school with a soup ladle tucked in his shirt and say he words at the kitchen. Way to take the fun out of Halloween lady! I also picture her wrapping her kid in bubble wrap before he goes off to play soccer.

But now we have another deceiving display. Yes, more of those damn blow up Disney characters that have absolutely nothing to do with Halloween. What looks like mirth is about to become murder. There is Tigger about to take out his next victim, Mickey Mouse. But I think Mickey is on to him as he is brandishing a weapon. I think Mickey is out to avenge the death of his friend Winnie the Pooh. I can only hope, nay, pray that he succeeds. Any time a stupid blow up character whacks another one is a good day in my book!

I bet some of you are wondering what can be done about this serious issue affecting the good citizens of Milwaukee. I say we go back to tradition. There are good displays adorning our streets. For example, the graveyard. A classic! They have the grave markers, skeletons, withches, and even a casket (leaning against the house). At night, there are strobe lights and the casket opens and closes every 15-20 seconds. Now this is how Halloween is suppose to be. I wouldn't be shocked if kids skip this house out of fear. If not, someone should dress up like a scarecrow and scare the shit out of the toddlers as they approach for some candy.

See, a casket makes any display much better. But can it be topped. Oh yes! But only if you happen to have a hearse laying about in the barn! Every year I pass this house on the way to work. Every year they convert their front yard into a graveyard. Every year it kicks ass! Unfortunately, the "donations" box in front sucks away some of the coolness this place has. This picture was taken at dawn. I can tell you it looks much better in the dark. One of the best in the Milwaukee area.

I have heard that there are still some awesome displays set up in Milwaukee. Many of them have motion detectors or various displays set on timers that open are close coffins or make monsters move. Unfortunately, they are few and far between. Those damn blow up pumpkins and ghosts are taking over. Please, don't do this to your yard.

I ask everyone to rise up, grab some steel tip darts and let's defeat these blow up monstrosities! Are you with me?

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Kicked to the curb

The Cowboys punted their field goal kicker yesterday. It makes me feel a bit better after Sunday's loss. I do like how Parcells doesn't put up with it and is willing to give someone else a chance. Granted it is a rookie but I don't think he can be any worse.

That is two games that Boys lost because of missed field goals. This team should be 6-1. Even after Sunday's loss, they are still playing some good football. But not great football. Great football would be putting up the clinching touchdown, not having to settle for the field goal attempt. Great football is not playing sieve defense when it matters.

The Cowboys will either get better because of these setbacks or will spiral downward. They actually have talent this year. With a tough NFC East, they cannot afford to not learn from their mistakes. People, we have an interesting football season unfolding before us. Someone from the NFC East is going to the Super Bowl. And it probably ain't the Eagles.

As usual after football Sundays, I came home on Monday and vegged out. I didn't work out. I didn't even eat. I just layed their on the couch in a haze watching Scariest Places on Earth episodes I had recorded over the weekend. I remember a few years back when this show was somewhat "groundbreaking" in their content. The majority of the stories were rather chilling, especially when they had some kind of evidence to back up the claims. But now, with Most Haunted being shown on the Travel Channel and Ghost Hunters on Sci Fi, it pales in comparison. While they do have some good episodes with amateurs investigating haunted places (like the family that goes to the Italian island and has stuff falling around them), too many times you have people that are totally freaked out swearing a place is haunted. They aren't experts. Just scared.

They still catch some things that just cannot be explained. They have a episode about a park in Denver, Cheesman Park, that is built over a cemetery. It was the basis for the movie Poltergeist. In the show, they had two girls try to spend a night in the park. They showed them go into a tent while the investigators were observing the tent from a distance away. As you watched the tape the girls had running inside the tent, you see "hands" or something pushing in on the tent. It isn't wind and it isn't someone outside screwing with them. As the girls are getting terrified, the investigators keep trying to calm them down by telling them there is no one outside the tent and they cannot get hurt.

Ok, if I am inside the tent, and you are telling me there is no one outside messing with me, that will scare me even more. Visions of the Blair Witch movie would going through my mind. There is no way I would stay there for a minute more.

I still have a more episodes to watch of Scariest Places on Earth. This weekend, both Most Haunted and Ghost Hunters will have live episodes going. Either way it will be some good TV to catch.

Monday, October 24, 2005

A constant kicking to the family jewels

That is how my Sunday afternoon felt. One kick after another.

It started with the Packers blowing a lead and a somber mood at the bar. It looked to be a good day until the Vikings kicked the field goal with time expiring. Then everyone was down.

That didn't bother me too much as I was planning to take off to play the Poker Stars Blogger Invitational at 5. I made a quick stop to get some beer and I logged in ready to play.

Only to find out it had started at 3, not 5. I don't know how I screwed this one up but I had 220 in chips and was about to be knocked out. That kick to the nads was bad enough but hurt when I get Cowboys and run into Rockets. Ouch.

Speaking of Cowboys, they delivered a kick themselves. Unlike Cortez, who missed a game clincher to the left, they delivered a solid shot to my sack, juggling my boys, and allowed Seattle to not only move easily down the field with 2 minutes left (once again after defensively dominating the #1 offense in the NFL), but to allow a turnover and give the game away with a long field goal. I think this team could be really good, but they don't want to be. I would like to say they are the best team in the NFC, but I can't. If they were that good, they would have won the game.

Just when I think the swelling is subsiding I log onto Full Tilt Poker to play another tournament just to blow a satellite token on a tournament that I didn't want to play and didn't want the prize. I also was playing a smaller tourney there and came in 8th place. But I screwed the pooch there too but not hitting the button to put me all in and thusly was sucked out on the river. A self inflicted kick there.

But wait, it isn't over. I then find out that wrestling legend and Milwaukee icon, Da Crusher, had passed away. You couldn't grow up in Milwaukee watching wrestling and not know who Da Crusher was. It is with a heavy heart that we say goodbye to him.

Then my cat manages to get his own shots in. After playing poker, I layed down on the couch to catch some TV only to have his lard ass jump into my lap and squash my boys again! Can't I catch a break? Of course not! At two in the morning, I hear the cat about to vomit. I tell you, alarm clocks should play the sound of cats about to puke. If that doesn't wake you up quickly, I do not know what will. So at 2 in the morning, I am now wide awake after knocking the cat off the bed and trying to find out where he did in fact yack. I couldn't find a pile of puke so I tried to get back to sleep. Instead, I layed there trying to doze off. The alarm, the radio not the cat, soon went off and I found myself stuck in traffic. Thanks.

I should just sit at my desk and put ice on my sack. I got kicked in the junk a few too many times over the last 18 hours. I need some rest.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Guess who called this morning?

Weird. Out of nowhere, my friend (as mentioned in the previous post) called me this morning. Wanted to know what I was doing for the games today. I have plans to head up to the bar and will do so even though he invited me to come watch the game at his house.

Hmm...Strange. I couldn't help but wonder if somehow he knows of the blog and read it yesterday. Seems far fetched to me. But is a possibility.

I think if he did read it and was angry about it, he would have said something on the phone. Unless he was looking to pummel me in the basement of his house and bury me in his backyard.

Simply put, if he was offended by what I wrote, assuming he read it, he should say so. If he wants me to take it down, I will. I respect him enough to do so.

But the timing does seem quite weird.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

The crazy woman thinks I am bad

I got something strange in the mail the other day. It was an invite to a birthday party for a friend of mine.

What is so strange about that you might ask?

I haven't talked to this person in over a year. I meant to. I could have called at any time, but I never did. I just have been busy and there are times where I don't stay in touch with people as much as I would like to.

I used to see this friend on a regular basis. Even after he got married. We used to do lunch every couple of weeks, usually at Hooters, just to see what was going on.

His wife hated that with a passion. Yeah, she is a crazy bitch. Paranoid. She always thought the Hooter girls were hitting on her husband. If fact, she forbid him to go there. The thought of us taking her son there (he is 16) was the fuel for a huge fight. In the end, she forbid him to have lunch with me in general.

Last I had heard (over a year ago), he was filing for divorce. It was the second time he considered it and this time, supposedly it was irreconcilable. He was adamant that it was done. He just wanted the house and her to be out of his life. He was giving her a nice chunk of change to be gone too. In fact, with some of the things he would tell me, I wouldn't be shocked if I was a reason for the break up. Yeah, she is crazy like that. When he was telling me about the problems he was having in his marriage, I never gave him advice one way or another. I told he he need to be true to himself and things would work out. I never said a discouraging word about the crazy bitch. Good thing.

Then I saw him briefly this summer. I was leaving Hooters (surprise!) when a mini van was honking at me on the street. Sure enough, it was them. Yes, them, as in plural, the couple. It isn't that surprising that he didn't get divorced. He is the clingy, needy, type of guy. Hell, he proposed to her after knowing her for 3 weeks.

I should have given him a call the next weekend about going to Hooters to see what was up with that, but didn't. I may do it this weekend. At the very least, I could try to get him to do lunch just to get the paranoid woman worked up a bit. Only because I am evil in her eyes.

I will be going to the party if not for just stopping in some time during the night. I assume his family will be there. Some of his brothers are good, successful people. Others are total hillbilly types. Yeah, there could be a mullet sighting.

OK, no change over here

Yeah, I had said I would make some changes here over the weekend. But I didn't like what I saw when all was said and done.

I wanted to use a new skin to make things look a bit more interesting. I had it ready to go but noticed one fatal flaw. My archives were gone. I loaded up the page and nothing was there except the template. I think I will take a close look at both skins to see how I may be able to monkey it to work. How hard can programming be?

I see my friend the Wig has been taking shots at lottery ticket buyers over the past week. Yeah, I bought tickets for the last two drawings. The Wig was a fool not to. The payout for the lump sum was $164 million dollars (hey you guys stop doing the Dr. Evil right now!). According to the ticket I have, the chance of winning the jackpot is 1 in 146,107,962. That is +EV. The payout dictates you should buy a ticket.

Furthermore, he points out the a nickel, yeah, a WHOLE NICKEL, disappears out of the dollar while 95 cents goes back into the WI economy. That nickel probably goes to the lottery administators to cover costs over all the states, but I can't say that for sure. I would think he would do the research before stating it evaporates.

So the Wig will bust out on people trying to hit it big while he wastes money on some big ghost in his yard illuminating the neighborhood. Yeah, higher energy bills are always +EV. Why do I expect it to be some pansy smiling ghost too?

Friday, October 21, 2005

And I thought free beer would interest everyone

Yep. People bailed on me. Beer tastes good. Free beer tastes even better. Thus I thought everyone would jump at the opportunity.

Ok, so the notice was rather short. They had other plans. I can forgive them.

I still went out. Not for that free beer, but to hand with a friend at BW3s for a bit. I got my beer there so things were good.

Except for missing my dial-a-shot with Al. I had it all planned out too. I was going to be on the offensive and get a shot with my beer at BW3. But when I got there, I forgot to take my phone out and missed his incoming call. Damn. So when I got to Big Mama's later, I made sure to get a shot right away and made the return call.

To voicemail.

BTW, Jim Beam Black > Jack Daniels. Don't be fooled by the hype.

I tried again about 45 minutes later. Voicemail.

Alas, I probably have been dropped off the list now. If not, I will be for using "alas".
Then I see the Blonde would have liked a dial-a-shot. Quite hard with a number. I walked out on the deck at the bar and yelled out for her but got no answer. Nobody wanted to drink with me. *sigh*

But forget that whinyness. On to football this weekend! The Cowboys have a tough game against the Seahawks. I believe there is a stat out there that says after every big Sunday night game, Shaun Alexander is very ineffective the following week. I think he may be a non-factor in this game as well. The Cowboys defense is playing well- except for giving up one big play a game. They should be able to stop Alexander and shut down the passing game. But on offense, the Boys need to run the ball. Don't know if Julius Jones will play or not. He has practiced but may see limited action if any. They will need to run the ball and I think Tyson Thompson can be the man. If not, they should be able to pass the ball and squeak out a victory. I think as long as they don't play like they did last week, they can win this game.

Of course, I won't see it. The local stations are showing the Packer/Viking game (no surprise) and then the Ravens/Bears game. WTF? They need to stop showing the divisional rival games when the Packers are not playing. I am sick of watching crappy football on Sundays when there are a ton of great games out there. Chargers/Eagles. Broncos/Giants. Cowboys/Seahawks. Each of the NFC East's games should be good. But we won't see them here. I actually should get a dish and the Sunday Ticket just for this year.

Couldn't help but think my coffee would taste better with a little whiskey in it.

The Scariest Places on Earth is on all day tomorrow starting around 2pm CST. There looks to be a new episode or two in the mix. They have a new version called Fear Force after it too. The DVR will be working overtime tomorrow.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Today's Special...Free Beer!!!

Thursday, October 20th at 6PM
at the beautiful Pabst Theater
located at 144 E. Wells Ave

There will be one hour of free Moonshine Porter and Pumpkin Ale for all Mug Club members to enjoy. Courtesy of Rock Bottom Breweries. Plus, you can sign up for the Mug Club when you show up and still suck down the suds for free. Who's with me?

I had the intention of heading out to the pub last night but that never happened. Instead I played some poker. Sober. No wonder I just did ok. Not great, just ok.

I have Vegas on the brain today. Only because I screwed up my flight plans. Nothing major. I forgot I had taken Dec. 8 off. When I booked the flight I chose an evening flight that I could hit right after work. Now, I will probably try to fly standby and get out of here earlier if I can.

One lucky person wins all $340 million. Guess I have to call the Bellagio and cancel my "winning trip" for this weekend. Speaking of the longshots, how does Phil Garner actually manage a team to the World Series? Seriously. He did nothing with the Brewers or Tigers but takes the Astros all the way to the Series. Maybe he has some managing talent after all. I liked him when he was in Milwaukee, but he couldn't manage pitching to save his life. Good thing he has solid starters and a dead on closer.

Other that this drivel, I really have nothing else today. I am thinking of changing the look here soon. I have something in mind so don't be surprised if over the weekend you see a change. I think it is fitting but will leave it in your hands whether it stays or goes. In the meantime...

Who is going to drink beer with me tonight?

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Reason enough to leave this firm

If it was the division I work for, I would have to quit. No two ways about it.

I had to get an update on a personal account so I placed a phone call to that business unit. The rep was quite helpful, doing a great job. Then he had to place me on hold for about 30 seconds.

30 seconds that just about made my ears bleed. 30 seconds that may drive me insane this afternoon.

I had to endure 30 seconds of the Bee Gees singing "How Deep Is Your Love".


I believe this qualifies me for workman's comp.

So I did what one has to do to ensure this crap doesn't stay inside my head. I got it out quickly.
With this. It not only summed up my feelings, it cured me too. Thanks Al, I needed that.

Watch, I will get a ticket for this

I can feel it now. I will get a letter in the mail stating I failed to obey a flashing red light and have to pay a fine.

If so, it will be total bullshit! And I will say so in court. If it gets to that.

As I left work today, I made a left onto the 4 lane boulevard. A school bus had just turned right onto the same road. It drove in the curb lane maybe half a block with it's flashing red lights on. I passed the bus two lanes over as it was still moving. As I did, I heard the driver lay on the horn. Was it for me? It had to be.

But I say I didn't break a law. Here is the law from the Wisconsin DOT. It reads:
A vehicle that approaches a stopped school bus that is displaying flashing red
warning lights, must stop not less than 20 feet from the bus and remain stopped
until the bus resumes motion or the operator extinguishes the flashing red
warning lights. Failure to do so could result in a fine between $30 and $300.
This law does not apply to vehicles driving in the opposite direction on a
divided highway but does apply if no barrier is present on multi-lane street or

When I was passing the bus, it was not stopped. It was still moving. It did not have it's stop signs extended on the side. The law doesn't say I need to stop simply because the flashing red lights are on. Any driver could put those on blocks away to keep the kids safe. Furthermore, by the time I was passing the bus, I had to be doing 30 mph. Was I suppose to slam on my brakes? There was one whole lane between me and the bus. No kid was going to dart out and run across. Kid would have to be a stunt person to jump from a moving bus.

But if I am not mistaken, the bus driver does have the ability to note my license plate number and report it to the authorities who could issue me a citation. I better not receive one because some overzealous driver can have a loose interpretation of the law.

And don't get me wrong. It is a good law meant to protect the kids. But where was this kid going to go after they got off of the bus? Down the street where the door opened. It is the only residential street in the area. On the other side of the street is a bar. Unless the kid was going to cross 4 lanes of highway traffic to go knock a couple drinks down to unwind from a hard day in the 4th grade, they had no reason to go in front of my car.

All I know is I better not get ticketed for not breaking a law.

This morning I check my phone to see I missed a dial-a-shot with Al and Big Mike. Yeah, my phone sucks. I am probably going to be removed from the list for having a crap-ass phone. Guess I will have to go on the offensive to make up for this.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Still emailing these bums

It took me all day and will take up another chunk of my day but heck, that is what I do. I ensure people do their work correctly.

I am a henchman. I hench for a living.

One thing I have begun to notice about emails. I think the guys/gals in IT at this company had a sense of humor. Before going to a standardized, it looked like they would make the address whatever they felt like by crunching the name together to form a word. For example, if you name was Ivey Mary Wong, your email would have become I have seen a number of these that are kinda funny.

See, that is one reason why I couldn't work in the IT department. I would mess with people. Need a password change? I would set it to something like 2stupid or I8UOUT. Stupid things that I know the dipshits wouldn't catch at first. My career would be so short lived.

The conversation at lunch was rather boring except for this exchange, which me and a buddy thought was inappropriate. A co-worker had come up to the Toxic Weasel to tell him about a co-worker's father-of-her-children's mother passing away from ovarian cancer. Apparently they were to operate but it spread quickly to her brain (don't ask if possible or how, I don't know, I am not a doctor) and it became too late. Here is the inappropriate part. The Toxic Weasel asks if it was a painful death. Me and my friend look at each other with a look of "I can't believe he asked that". I asked why it mattered. TW just wanted to know. After some more confused looks and TW needing to know, I made a comment that yes, she flopped around like fish. My friend added if he wanted to know if her eyes were bleeding. Yeah, we are the major a-holes now, but what the hell should it matter if the person died peacefully or not to you? How does someone even ask the question? Or at the very least, like he did? I could possibly see a "I hope it wasn't a painful passing" comment but to come straight out with the "Was it painful?" query just seemed stupid.

No lunch with the Toxic Weasel today. Probably a good thing. I have been bashing him around pretty good lately. I think he is just starting to realize it. Not that he could do anything about it.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Email Monday

My entire day will be spent sending emails to deliquents. People who just can't get their work in on time. It is a big waste of time as half the email addresses are on one system while the other half are on another. Thus I cannot simply browse a global listing but need to look through different sections to not only retrieve their address but their supervisor's as well. All for people who just have to print their name twice, date it and sign it. Takes less than a minute.

Before I entered this ring of hell, I had to call the cable company to have them unlock my account so I could pay the bill. The rep on the other end of the phone was "Ninja". I am not kidding. Her name was "Ninja". She said she had to make a call to "disenable" my account. I have no clue what that means as I would have simply had it "enabled". But when Ninja came back, she let me know my account was "re-enabled". I guess the cable company uses Ebonics.

I see the local Rock Bottom Brewery is having a tasting for their Pumpkin Ale. Free beer. I will have to round some people up to check it out. If only I had the date with me. Damn. You would think I would remember the day and time of free beer. I do know that it is being done at the Pabst Theater and not the restaurant so I should get some points for that.

Since I am just rambling on now, I might as well get to work. I will use the email I drafted to scare everyone into submitting the reports. I know my boss will tell me to use a different version when she reads it but screw that, I need to get this boring shit done!

Update: I see my influence has spread once again. Please welcome WhiskeyGyrl. Check her stuff out!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

If only it was as easy as playing the Eagles

I told you on Friday I wasn't as comfortable with the Gints game as I was with the Eagles. There was the chance for a letdown after a big victory. There was a powerful offense coming to town.

But the Cowboys responded again. But you couldn't tell by the score. It was a sloppy first half and a scary final 4 minutes. It should have been an easy Cowboys victory.

I "watched" the game online at I thought my boys would call to head out to watch football all day. I was too disappointed when the call didn't arrive. I figured the mystery call that was all garbled at 1 in the morning was them all drunk and trying to be funny.

So I stayed in playing poker and catching the game online. As I said it was a sloppy first half (or as Jimmy Johnson just said, it was a sloppy game all around) for the Cowboys. 3 turnovers when they were moving the ball. If I am not mistaken the Boys had about 220 yards at halftime to the Gints 74.

That is how it continued into the second half. Except now the Gint were turning the ball over on some crucial plays. It was with about 4 minutes that they quickly pushed the ball into the Cowboys 5 but turned it over at the 1 with a minute and a half remaining.

But the Cowboys couldn't get the ball out of the hole. McBriar gets off the punt they need to push the Gints back to their own 48 with 52 seconds left. But two plays- YES TWO #@&*! plays- later they score the touchdown to tie it up.

Visions of the Deadskin game are through my head. But I have faith. The Cowboys march down with the ball in over time and win the game. The defense did a good job until about 4 minutes left. I guess keeping it easy is not in the game plan.

And all the while I have to watch the terrible play of the Vikings on TV. Yes the Bears/Vikings game was on in Milwaukee. Why they never cut away from these crap game that are boring the life out of us will always boggle my mind. The Bears play the most boring game of football known to man. And the Vikings? Well, they just suck.

I have more poker to play. And I need to get beer. Later.

And how about that....the Cowboys are in first place!!!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Dare I piss off mama?

Last week I was to go mow the lawn at my mother's house. But my truck battery thought otherwise so I went to Hooters instead.

I really need to get that lawn cut. And remove some branches in the backyard.

But the Party Poker bad beat jackpot is over $660,000. Am I a bad son if I blow it off?

I thought about this yesterday when I went off to meet some friends for happy hour. The bad beat jackpot was over $550k then. I was wondering if going to happy hour was -EV?

Answer: NO. Hanging out with friends with 2 for 1 taps is always +EV. Especially when Gambino get liquored. Don't know how that happened but I turn around and she is trying to play the Megatouch game without money.

I will have a write up on the Circus as well as the Milwaukee Ale House coming soon. As soon as I mow the lawn. *wink wink*

Friday, October 14, 2005

One tap, over here!

I just got finished reading Iggy's post on his trip to Ireland. Great stuff.

But it got me to thinking again. When Dr. Pauly was in Europe a month ago, he went around saying he was from Canada. Iggy was about to do the same, but thankfully didn't. My question of course is why?

I was in England 10 years ago. Things have changed since then, but I would still walk around with my Dallas Cowboys hat on should I go over there again. I would proudly state I am an American and anyone who has a problem could take it up with me. I have read reasons on why Europeans supposedly hate Americans (for the most part I don't believe they do, except for the pansy French who are jealous to begin with). I think it is mostly the media that brews it up. Plus it is based on control of the world. They had it, now they don't. They want their influence back.

Ok, off the soapbox.

I spent last night playing poker over at Party. Bad beat jackpot was over half a mil! Sweet payday for someone to have a great hand cracked. When all was said and done (read: my eyes were dried out from staring at a screen), I looked inside my fridge for something to drink. It was a toss up. Can of Hamms vs. the 40 oz. of Pabst vs. a bottle of Lite. Guess which one I drank?

So it was an uneventful, take-it-easy night. Tonight will be different. When I get out of work I will get home and possibly work out before getting plastered at the Home bar. Then it should be off to the Circus. Of course, I will check where the jackpot is on Party first and may say screw the exercise thing. But not the drinking.

I will be passing on heading out to some haunted house tonight. A friend of mine from work had left me a message about checking out some cool haunted house that is supposedly the best in the area. Strangely enough, I don't care for that. I will watch/DVR all haunted stuff on TV but don't get into going to haunted houses. I would never go to a real haunted house either. I guess I like the safety of my own home.

Hopefully there are more new episodes of the British show Most Haunted coming out. There should be as they a slew of shows listed on their website. Better yet would be an American copycat. The Scariest Places on Earth looks to be returning again this year with possibly some new episodes. As long as they show the one at the Waverly Sanitarium, I will be happy.

Today will be a breeze at work. I will finish off a project and take the afternoon off. Well not off off, as I will still be sitting here. I will probably go digging around on football game info. The Cowboys game against the Giants will be a tough one. Tougher than the Eagles game. Whereas I liked the Boys chances last Sunday, I am not as confident this week. The Gints don't play well on the road, but it could be a letdown game. Don't get me wrong. I think the Cowboys will win. I just will not be placing a 16 next to them, or betting $250,000 in the pool.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Vegas talk

I had lunch with a former co-worker today. She had just gotten back from Vegas. A 4 day weekend at the luxury that is the Imperial Palace Bellagio. Yes, true luxury. It was a trip that was totally paid by her sister. Yeah, I am jealous. I miss the free trips to Vegas I would get at work.

Funny part was finding out the Toxic Weasel had declared that he just got a great deal for Vegas. He paid $700 for a week, including airfare and hotel. My first reaction was sounds good, but where are you staying? He proudly says the Plaza! Egad!

I thought about it quickly and came to the conclusion that it isn't that great of a deal. For the flight being around $286, that means he is paying about $10/night. For a room that probably goes for $30, he may call that a bargain. But it is the Plaza. He also is renting a car. There goes your savings. When asked why he was renting a car, he said he didn't want to pay up the ass for taxis. That makes sense but where are you taking these cabs to? For that extra cost, you could have slummed on the north end of the Strip. The women I was with quickly quieted me down. They knew it wasn't a great deal either. But let the Toxic Weasel think it is. He can run around downtown playing his penny slots all day.

So with that inspiration I came back up and finished off my December trip plan. I booked the flight and popped the note to move the cash around in the beginning of the week. December won't come quickly enough.

Mindless stuff today

I don't have anything worthy here today. Of course that means I need to make a long rambling post about different things that will make little sense but will make my head a bit clearer.

No sooner than I had posted about my naked wrist did some do a search on blogger for "nude blogs" and came to my sight. Maybe I should take a picture of my naked area and post it so they can get their jollies.

I took off to Kmart yesterday to get my watch batteries. The parking lot was pretty empty. The majority of the cars were clearly employees. I walk in right to the jewelry counter to find some old hag rearranging the "fine" jewelry. She ignores me for a minute. Those precious gemstones are way too valuable for her to help me. Who goes to Kmart to buy their jewelry? I am either just a guy or the biggest idiot in the world for not knowing the finest diamonds in Antwerp end up at your local Kmart by the flashing blue light with big savings passed directly to you. When she finally looks at me, I tell her what I need and she barks at me to go to electronics as she has no batteries at her counter. I then ask where electronics is. She gives the waving point as well as a dumb look. I haven't been in this freakin' place before. How the hell am I to know where electronics is? I walk to the back, quickly find my batteries and bolt out of there. I put the batteries in the watches while still in the car. I can chalk that on my list of things I am now an expert at. Replacing watch batteries. Take that one Target!

Yesterday I can to cut off my stupidity here early as I had a meeting to catch. Typical boring meeting until one of the lesser managers got up to speak. He started by doing an impression. No, I am not kidding. This guy thinks that doing impressions will get him some where. After he was finished doing his Rocky Balboa, I looked around to see people shaking their heads. They were laughing with you, they were laughing at you. Sit down Rich Little!

The charity events at work are winding down. Today is the silent auction. There is a bunch of stuff up for bidding. There are some decent items such as Packer tickets and fishing packages. But some of the stuff looks like people just cleaned out their basements. I may go place a bid on the rubber chicken. Yes, someone donated a rubber chicken. Another item down there is a football toss game for kids. This would be pretty good for any boy under 10. But it won't help them as a quarterback. I took a good look at it as I walked by. One of the holes to throw the ball through is smack dab in the middle of a receiver's helmet. Hmm...why didn't they put the receiver's hands by the hole? I guess this is how Aaron Brooks learned. Maybe the funniest thing about it is the scoreboard on it that reads "Harvard".

That is it. I am done rambling. The Circus is coming to town tomorrow so hopefully that will be a nice drunken affair commencing with happy hour at Home. Until then, I may have to play the Miller Beer Run game all day.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Nude at work

I can see the weird search phrases that will bring people to this site already after that title.

Yes, my wrist is naked once again. Yesterday, I noticed I got to work at 10 minutes after 2. Wow, was I early! No...damn. Watch had stopped. Two watches within a month have bailed on me.

So I was off to Target to get new batteries. Or so I thought. Apparently if you didn't buy the watch from them, they will not replace your battery. They will not crack them open for you. I didn't have much of a problem with the policy. But when I tried to buy some batteries anyway, the girl didn't want to sell them to me. She said she has them arranged but to find the right battery may be difficult. Plus, I couldn't use their tools to open the watches myself because I may slip and cut myself open. I guess bleeding all over their "jewelry" counter wouldn't be good for business.

So I left empty handed. When I got home, I cracked them both open. I guess I will head out to the local Wal/K mart to get some batteries over lunch.

Not having a watch on my wrist always feels uncomfortable. I am use to that weight being there. Now I look to see what time it is- what a force of habit- just to see this very white patch on my arm. I should take a pen and write in 4 pm so it is happy hour whenever I want it to be. Ha, like it isn't.

I just found out about a rescheduled meeting I need to hit. Just when I was about to get into my 3 dream recall. Yes, somehow I had 3 distinctly separate dreams last night. Only one involved sex. Well, more like foreplay, but close enough. And BTW, I was good!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Why do I work on Mondays?

Hell, it wasn't even work. I was like the New Orleans Saints yesterday. I went through the motions of work. I got little done. I coasted on some of the easy stuff and made it look like I did more than I did.

I should take every Monday off during football season. I am not a productive worker at the beginning of the week. A typical Sunday is getting out around 11 to catch the noon football game. If there is no one on, then it starts at 2. I drink for the next 6 hours before heading home. There I may have a couple more beers. I am comfortable to call it a day at 10.

By the time the alcohol begins to wear off, around 2 or 3 in the morning, I will be awake. I then lay in bed for the next hour or two before getting back to sleep. By the time I doze off the alarm goes off. That leaves me groggy for the morning and sluggish all day. By the time I get home, I just plop my ass on the couch and catch the latest sports news and try to sleep a bit more.

That is the price I pay for enjoying football Sundays.

I do have my reservations set for the luxury that in the Imperial Palace. I am ramping up to do yet Vegas again. I haven't booked my flight though. Seems like everytime I do they go on sale the next week. I figure I have a good month to shop around.

It still feels nice to have a big Cowboy victory from Sunday but it is time to move on. All bets are being settled now. Beside the jersey bet, the Blonde and I had a some cash riding as well. My charity of choice will be MichaelsMiracle. We partied it up for this cause at the Bash at the Boathouse and it seems like a good way to give back to hosts of the event.

Now lets see if I can get any work done today.

Monday, October 10, 2005


Following the Eagles' 33-10 loss to Dallas, Terrell Owens pulled a white Dallas Cowboys Michael Irvin throwback jersey from his traveling bag, shook it out, and put it on for the bus ride to the airport and the long, quiet charter flight home to Philadelphia. -- Philadelphia Inquirer

Throwback? It hasn't been that long since Michael left. I am surprised Reid lets Owens get away with this.

Hey Blonde, you can be just like Terrell and wear an Irvin jersey in Vegas!

Eagles DE Jevon Kearse was unhappy with what he said was constant first-half, double-team help from Cowboys tight end Jason Witten for right tackle Rob Petitti, and unhappy that Dallas went for it three times on fourth down, making a first down twice. "It's disrespectful," said Kearse, who noted that the Cowboys punted only twice. -- Philadelphia Daily News

Disrespectful? The rookie was given help to stop a very good lineman. Isn't that respect? Is he whining about the Cowboys trying to convert on 4th down? That ain't disrespect. That is football. You want respect? Stop them.

National Day of Celebration!!!

They say you can either be bullied all your life or you can do something about it. The best plan is to simply punch the bully in the mouth.

Drew Bledsoe goes back to pass. He has Terry Glenn in the left corner. Touchdown Cowboys! The Dallas Cowboys score on their first possession going 51 yards in just under 2 minutes.

And when that bully is stunned, you punch in the mouth again, so they understand you mean business.

It's first and ten from the Eagles 38, Bledsoe drops back, he has Glenn streaking to the end zone...Touchdown Cowboys!

At this point, the bully backs down and runs away. Kinda like the Eagles yesterday. They got their only touchdown on a fluke, when the game didn't matter anymore. The were pushed around the field like a whimpering dog. It was a blowout.

Let's look at the stats: Eagles total yards: 129. Cowboys: 456. Time of possession Eagles: 19:17. Cowboys: 40:43.

McNabb: 13/26. 131 yards. Bledsoe: 24/35, 289 yards, 3 TDs.
Turd Owens: 5 catches, 50 yards. Terry Glenn: 7 catches, 118 yards, 2 TDs

I am spared the embarrassment and uncleanliness of wearing a Beagles jersey. And I got some hot oral action coming! Oh wait, I didn't get that part of the bet confirmed.

So all is well here in Wisconsin as it is across this great land of ours. Hey, even the Packers won!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Bledsoe...All day...-Joe Buck-Fox Sports

Those are the words that I thought I would never hear. Joe Buck was never more right. He was beyond spot on.

I have nothing against the Eagles. I give them credit. It is not like they are the scum of the Earth like the Deadskins.

Because if there is one person I respect in the NFL (and hate with a passion) to rule total havoc on the Cowboys offense is Jim Johnson (Defensive Coordinator of the Beagles). He has been known to kill the Boys again and again.

But Sunday was different. I told you I liked my Boys to win. You can call it what you want.

And I know that the some of you at the Blonde's website thought I was nuts. Yeah, you thought I was some overzealous Cowboys fan. But my buddy, the Wig, a fellow Cowboy fan, was with me. I spoke with him after the game as we giggled about the easy victory. We knew the vast majority was misled. They just don't get it. You don't understand America's Team.

But remember this. I never guaranteed a Cowboys victory. I didn't talk shit. I just said I liked their chances. I REALLY liked their chances. A wager was made. There was a lot of things about this game that pointed to a Cowboys victory. It looked too easy for those who like to wager on the games.

And they responded.

Beagles fans...Can you say DOMINATED.

I mean...DO MIN A TED!!!!!!!

Say what ever you want. The Cowboys owned you. Their defense stifled your offense . How many yards of offense did you have? Not much. 200? 225? You were owned!! Totally! They smacked you in the mouth and you did nothing.

Your defense did little. The Cowboys scored early and often. Your defense couldn't stop them. Drew Bledsoe passed that ball around like he was playing with kids. He hooked up with Terry Glenn to put you away before the first half was over. That was exactly what the Cowboys needed to do. They set the tone.

And your response was mute.

And that was without our starting middle linebacker. Dat was out. But it didn't matter.

Our offense hit you hard, early and offense. And you couldn't do anything about it.

I didn't gloat about it either. I gave my friend Al a call before the beginning of the game for a Dial-a-Drink. We traded a few messages beyond that, but I gave him a call after all was said and done and a shot was done to toast the victors. There was no reason to talk shit as nothing was said before the game. I hate that bullshit. If you don't say anything before the game, you have no right to say anything after.

I will stay say this. I like the Cowboy's chances early last week. I never backed done. I put it on the line and the Cowboys hit the field like I expected them to.

Those that don't believe in America's Team will never get it.

I think the Blonde will look damn good in a Aikman jersey. Without a T-shirt underneath of course. You think she could have at least called me to congratulate me.... At least she could have danced with me.

Ditzy bartenders

There is one thing that can really make a night interesting, drunk, and profitable. All you need is a ditzy bartender. Some eye candy that gets confused easily. All by herself. With no prodding from anyone.

The nice girl at Big Mama's was beyond ditzy last night. Yeah, someone will call me a jackass for calling her a ditz but hey, I call 'em like I see 'em.

I would say there were 5 rounds of shots that weren't paid for along with another 3 rounds of beer. I had a good buzz by the time I got out of there. And yes, she was tipped well for her efforts. Major rule of drinking: If you are not paying for the drinks you have to give the bartender a damn good tip.

Yet she wasn't doing anything to screw over the bar. She was just being herself. I heard she hadn't had much sleep. Couple that with some drinks and she was in her own little world. I do recall her popping out shotglasses for everyone, going to the buyer, looking confused and finally saying "What the fuck? Um.. 10 bucks". Not bad for what should have been 14 bucks.

Unfortunately her shift ended early and she was replaced. Ah, but for the brief time it was nice.

But that was the 4th bar we had hit that day. It started at Hooters for some wings. Then it was off the melting pot of Milwaukee, Ray and Dots. Damn great crowd there every time. It was then to Longshots were it was basically a sausage factory. One and out there. If B had any clue where he was going, we would have hit another dive bar but he got lost and decided to hit Big Mama's.

I am off to watch football. Still like my Cowboys today, though I am in the minority. Things feel good for an upset. That or the wings are giving me an ulcer.

Friday, October 07, 2005

It's on

The bet is settled. Unfortunately it was kept clean (per the Blonde). This Sunday, after the Cowboys/Beagles game, a charity will benefit from a donation off the loser. The loser of the bet will also be forced to wear the jersey of the victor during games at the Mandalay Bay come December. A Beagles fan wearing a Cowboys jersey. That is a step up for them. Maybe at that point they will know what it is like win a Super Bowl. Again and again and again and again and again.

The weekend seems busy but not quite. I will be heading downtown to the Harp after work to meet some people for happy hour. Feel free to stop by. Tomorrow is probably the final cutting of the lawn at ma's place. That will take place during the Badger game but I should get out for the second half. Hooter's anyone?

Sunday will be a football day. Don't know what anyone is doing at this time. Gambino is pussing out. You guys coming out Aleta? I may end up at the bar to watch the Packers. From there I probably can talk someone into going elsewhere to catch the Cowboys game. I know the calls will be coming in from the East Coast should they lose. But I am not the only one who thinks the Cowboys can win this game. Some of the staff at the USA Today are on my side. Yeah it may be just 2 of them but they are the underdogs. I have no problem admitting the Beagles are a better team. But the Boys need this one. Playing at home after time on the road, against a beat up beagle team looks good. Plus the line hasn't moved. Is everyone avoiding this game?

I see that is it 7:45. I am bored at work already. Maybe it is because yesterday felt so much like a Friday. Hopefully today won't be a long boring day. If it is, I may blog my whole day.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

It's cold gin time again!

As I have mentioned before, I love feeling the sun warm me up as I drive down the highway. It is such a great feeling. Yesterday may be the last time this year I get to enjoy the warmth of the sun.

The drive to the Midwest Airlines center was rather uneventful. I pulled into the parking structure hoping it was the correct one. I had some doubts when I got to the 3rd level and notices a huge section cordoned off for construction. After weaving through that area I pulled around to the 4th level and found the perfect spot to park. I had wanted to get on the "down" side so I cut across and pulled in spot 469. Me and my perverted mind chuckled as we put the top up.

It looked kind of stupid too. There were many open spots but I pulled into the one right next to a car. I could already picture it. The guy/girl comes out, looks at all the open spots and thinks why the hell did this guy have to park right next to my car. Seconds later, the guy who owned that car came out and gave me a look. I fought the laugh back but didn't are. Dude, it is spot 469!

I walked in and started killing time with my co-workers. We had to stand around for an hour before anyone was scheduled to show up. Of course, the first clients show up an hour before they suppose to. That cost someone a round of drinks. As the crowd came in the murmur between us working folk was who was going to break the ice and get the first drink. I was drafted to do so and threw myself on the grenade. Or in this case, Beefeaters. Turns out I was the very first drink that Kris the bartender ever poured. I thanked him, slipped him a tip and went on my way promising to be back in 10 minutes. I was disappointed to find out later that many of my coworkers didn't feel the need to tip the bartenders. WTF? You have free drinks and these guys are working for tips as well. Give up some cash people! One guy was definately earning it too. When I came up for the second round, Jonathon moved to the top of his game and flatly told me I needed a double. Good idea! That is great bartending.

Once we were seated, I got into a good conversation with one of the clients at my table. Made the night go by quickly. As customary at these events, I drank a full bottle of the red wine (don't ask what kind of wine as I have no clue. It was red in color and went well with the beef) before I left. About the only time I drink wine is with meals. Otherwise I rather not touch the stuff.

After the event was over it was time to hit up the Miller Time Pub across the street for a couple of beers. I ended up with the "responsible" group. Those with families who basically were going to have some drinks but not get trashed like the others. We made an attempt to polish off the barrel o' pretzels but that was going to happen so we called it a night.

I got some sleep but feel a bit groggy this morning. Allergies are kicking me in the face one last time. It also sucks that I have a zit right under a nostril. It is in the same place I cut myself shaving on Monday. Not only does it hurt, it looks all shiny and huge. So I am a pleasant sight to look at. Sneezy, half asleep and pimply.

I hope you are looking better than I am.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

How many Polacks does it take to operate an ATM?

I don't know but if I park in the bank and watch long enough, I will find out.

And I am part Polish so if you have a problem with the title, screw you!

I pulled into use the Tyme machine (translate Wisconsin to American English Tyme machine = ATM) this morning and notice something different. It appears there is a bottle opener on the front of the machine. And I didn't bring a bottle of beer with me. Damn.

Oh wait, that is a camera. Still it would have made for a great video to watch, me trying to open a bottle of beer with their mini camera. It was only when I put my card in that I realized it was a new machine. Instead of asking me for my PIN, it asked how I would like to proceed- in English, Espanol, or POLSKI!!!

I can now do my banking in Polish if I choose! I don't know what good that will do me. Maybe I can teach myself Polish 30 seconds at a time. At the very least I will know how to say "Deposit", "Withdrawal" and "Fash Cash from Checking".

Pulled out a suit for work today. I will be attending a client function later tonight (read: free booze) and need to be dressed as "business professional". I won't put the tie on until later today. It should be interesting. I originally signed up as part of my current job. I need to monitor some things that are said and done. Yet, they have me working for this department for the night. Basically that means I go around and mingle with people. I get to make some stuff up about what I do to help them. Of course, I will see how much I can drink without anyone questioning me.

The Detroit Red Wings take the ice tonight as the NHL gets back to playing. The games should be better than ever. More like college hockey as the ice will be wide open. I have found some of the predictions for the year to be quite entertaining. Not that I may disagree with them (most say the Wings are basically playoff bound but not much else), but how can you truly predict anything for teams that haven't played in 2 years? You can only go by rosters. The Flames and Flyers may look good on paper but will that translate to the ice? We'll see. It will be good to have hockey back.

Titled edited to be compliant with the head Polack, Wig.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Cheap uncaring sonnofabitch!

Cheap people are one thing. Selfish uncaring cheap people are another. They deserve a good kick in the ass.

There is someone I eat lunch with a couple of times a week that is a piece of work. He always has a number of moronic things to say about his wife (and women in general). He even says it to her face, not caring about how she may feel. She takes it so I have no sympathy for her. But I don't have to hear it. I have said something to him when he starts up and will do so again.

Yesterday is a good example of what an ass he is. At work we are going through a series of fund raising events. There was breakfast, poker, a food drive (see below), and other events still going on. Over the next two weeks are snacks. On Tuesday and Thursday snacks can be bought with all money going to charities. Now the price of the snacks isn't too expensive but for what it is, it ain't cheap. The point is to raise some money, not necessarily to buy food at a bargain price. Of course, the moron goes off on a rampage about how it is too expensive for what they are selling. I tried to point out the charity aspect and he basically says screw them. I got into it a bit more with him. I don't believe he has ever given money to a charity. He will take all he can when offered but never give anything back. I can guarantee you that if a major disaster affected him, he would expect a hand out because everyone else has gotten one. I told him if a tornado wiped out his house, he would expect someone to help him. His flippant response was that the insurance company would pay him and he would rebuild. What if his wife was killed in the tornado. He would collect on life insurance. I even asked what if he was killed. Of course, he said life insurance would take care of her after he was gone. What dipshit!

At times I don't know why I bother to argue with him. He will never get it. I tried the karma approach but his reply was that the shitty people in the world always win. I laughed at that and asked how he thought he was winning. He has no friends outside of work. He has no one to hang out with. No one to experience life beside his wife. How is he winning?

I guess the biggest losers in life have no clue they have already lost.

The food drive at work has been interesting. A table was set up by the main employee entrance for the last week. Slowly but surely it filled up and a second table was added. A couple things struck me funny about this. In the beginning good always overpowered (sorry couldn't help that) of the event, there were handouts in a bin that said TAKE ONE. That bin stayed on the table as food was placed around it. It basically looked like you should then take some food. I was tempted to grab the SPAM...

Now, I want to know who the hell put the toilet paper on the table. This is a food drive, not a wipe your ass drive. I can't picture some snooty person here saying "Well, the hungry need to wipe their butt too". That person may be the one who also put the toothpaste and dish soap up there as well. I have never seen these items given. What is someone thinking?

I would have to say my favorites are the grape jelly and ketchup. Even hungry people need their condiments!

Ok Blonde, let's take the negotiations offline for a bit here. Send me an email to and let's figure out where we are going with Sunday's game. I am already enjoying how CJ has his undies in a bunch. I have yet to say the Cowboys will win- I like their chances- but have not yet declared victory. Needless to say, I am having fun with it.

Monday, October 03, 2005

I have read many a drinking story by a long haired lad in Pennsylvania. The number of bottles of Southern Comfort that was downed in those tales was impressive. But it wasn’t necessarily the booze or the party that was intriguing. It was the setting and the passion the lad had for his watering hole. When an invitation to experience the Boathouse was extended to me, I had no problem making a decision to venture east to see what this place was all about.
I have always said that a man needs a good bar in his life. A place they can call their own. A place that feels like home. I knew I would have to give my opinion on the Boathouse. I also knew I may be walking into a bad spot. Could I write up a bad review of one man’s bar if I didn’t like it? I wondered how that would work. At the least I probably wouldn’t be invited to Bash #7. But worse yet, I didn’t want to tell someone their bar sucked. Thankfully, that won’t happen. The Boathouse passes most of the tests. Yep, just most. There one was little flaw. But this place rocks.

Al knows I am a beer drinker. He ensure me that the Boathouse would have more than enough beer to quench any thirst I might have. He even sent me the menu. A beer menu is a nice way to start. But what I saw was even better. One big cooler of just imports. Nice. I like that in a bar. But they also had a number of other beers on tap. The upper bar had two sets of taps (if I recall correctly) while the bottom bar had 3. Yes, there is a bottom bar. Don’t let the picture fool you. This place is a nice size.

The upper floor appeared to be mainly for dining. The bar is along one side of the wall with booths and tables around the room. There are a lot of TVs above the bar. Each of the booths has their own TV as well. Great place to watch football.

The lower bar is quite roomy. Enough to fit a band in as well. The bottom bar was nice. There is a an area between a wall and the bar that you can fit a comfortable crowd in and own that section of the bar. That is exactly what Al and Eva like to do. I don’t blame them. Reminds me of the Snake Pit at Pjs. We owned a section of that bar just like they do.

Yet what may have impressed me the most was the deck. The top portion was again for dining. The real party takes place below. There are like 3 sections on the deck, including a little bungalow area. And it is big. It was a good place to kick back and drink beer outside. Ideal for summer.

Oh, did I mention there is another bar on the deck? This is one thing that I truly liked about the Boathouse and makes it a damn good bar. You don’t have to walk far to get a drink. That is how all bars should be. When I get thirsty, I shouldn’t have to go too far to get a beer.

With all the good things the Boathouse had to offer, unfortunately, they weren’t perfect. Call me picky, but the shortcoming of the Boathouse was the wings. Yes, the chicken wings. Could they be any wimpier? The hottest sauce, Top Gun, was barely hot. The wings themselves were meaty but without a good sauce, they might as well put Frank’s Red Hot on them. In fact, I would bet money that Frank’s is the base of their hot sauces. Next time I will have to try something else. Or challenge the cook.

Bottom line though is the Boathouse is all and more than Al makes it out to be. The bartenders are cool, the place is comfortable, and it has all you could ask for in a bar. Being barless for the most part at this time, I envy those who call the Boathouse home.

The early line

So the Blonde wants to make a wager? Giddyup girl! My mischievous mind is working on it. I have a good idea on what I am willing to put up.

The early line on the game is Philly by 3. Seems about right.

Funny thing is a couple of the Beagle fans got their panties in a bunch because I said I like the Cowboys chances in this game. I didn't make a disparaging remark. Didn't proclaim a victory would be forthcoming. Just said I like their chances.

Either they are scared or over-confident. More the latter. That is why I like the Boys' chances.

I am open to any and all ideas on what the wager should be. Go ahead and fill up the comments section.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

A good weekend

Ever have one of those weeks where it is busy and you get a lot accomplished and you aren't stressed out? Those are rare. Usually you get your ass whooped all week and you feel it by Friday. This past week was different. I got a major project done, got another minor one going on a smooth start, and got praised by the boss.

The only way to cap off a weekend like that is to go away and spend time with your friends. I got out of work quickly, met up with E and was headed off to the Bong Rec area for a weekend of camping. It is a nice short trip from Milwaukee so you can get there and start the drinking pretty quickly.

I got a nice surprise upon our arrival. As usual, E and I will have a beer before getting to work on setting up the tent. As I sat enjoying a beer, Aleta, Gambino, and her parents surprised me with some birthday gifts. Yes, Friday was my birthday and I got to share it with some people who are special. I got the kind of gifts I like. Nothing fancy and alcoholic. Among the bounty was a 12 pack of Hamms, a 40 oz of Pabst, and the Camping Dirty martini Kit. When you go camping you have to rough it. Cheap beer helps you get back to nature. They also surprised me with a cake that was made with Jack Daniels. See why I say they are special people.

Now that fall is here, the sun is setting sooner and it is getting cooler. We got a fire going pretty good on both nights. It was really needed on Friday. The air was quite cold. I needed to get closer to the fire to warm up more than once.

On Saturday, we had a nice breakfast and then settled in to listen to the Badgers on the radio. Maybe next time I will wait until after breakfast to start drinking beer. The meal was on the late side but the Badgers were already playing. Football and beer go together. How could I listen to the game without enjoying a beer?

That beer and the warm weather took its toll on me later. After a nice ham dinner, I was pretty tired. I sat by the fire zoning in and out. It was quite as cold Saturday night. It fact it was a warm sleep in the tent.

On Sunday we were woken up to the sound of gun fire. Seriously. Shots are ringing out in the air around 6 in the morning or so. Those damn hunters could have let me sleep in! But the weird thought I had was not knowing if someone was actually hunting or if a maniac was walking through the camp gunning people down.

The weekend would have been perfect with a Cowboys victory but it was not to be. They just about stole one in Oakland. But Bledsoe's pass came up short. But there was some good things that happened in this game. With Philly coming to town, I think they have a good chance to win. Call me crazy but they are playing some good football. The Eagles may have had a great comeback today, but I am hoping they come in a bit over confident. Any which way, it could and should be a good game.

Hopefully tomorrow I can finally get around to the Boathouse review. This is one I am going to enjoy. For now, I am off to tackle that 40 oz.